Sister Wendy 

Knew the scriptures 

But also had an eye 

For pictures. 

Pete Shelley 

Felt like dirt and was hurt 

But now he’s died (and shouldn’t’ve) 

And that’s worse. 

Say adieu 

To George Bush. 

Join the queue, 

Don’t rush. 

She made a V-sign in the Lords, 

But now it’s time to dump in tomb 

That Bletchley Park heroine, 

Jean Alys Barker, Baroness Trumpington. 

I thank you. 

And now the news 

On Richard Baker. 

He’s gone to see 

The undertaker. 

Stan Lee’s characters 

Had superpowers, 

But now it’s time 

To send some flowers. 

Srivaddhanaprabha 

Dead with a very long name. 

Haiku is too soon? 

He sang for charity 

He sang with clarity 

But Charles Aznavour 

Is no more. 

Gertcha! When the latest one 

To step into the grave 

Gertcha! Is Chas Hodges 

Out of Chas & Dave. 

If you’re one of those people 

Who liked Denis Norden 

You’ll be sad to hear he’s gone 

But will not be forgotten. 

Burt Reynolds 

Made films that were fun 

But now he’s had his last 

Cannonball Run 

Burt Reynolds has died. 

The star of The Longest Yard 

Now starts longest sleep. 

Smokey and Bandit 

Was a film I never liked. 

On TV tonight. 

Warm and funny Burt. 

Whole career was tongue in cheek. 

Says Ricky Gervais. 

Servalan just wanted to rule the Federation. 

For that I hope she doesn’t face damnation. 

Kofi Annan 

Won a Nobel Peace Prize 

But now it is time 

To say our goodbyes 

Aretha Franklin 

R.I.P. 

And R.E.S.P. 

E.C.T. 

She’s breathed her last, has poor Aretha. 

Alas the ground’s no more beneath her. 

Barry of the 

Chuckle Brothers 

Joins the list 

Of all the others. 

I find I’m tasked to write a poem 

For Vinnie Paul of Pantera. 

I’m too busy to do it right now, 

Can you put it on my Jira? 

Dirty Den  

Has died again.  

It’s something he has as a knack.  

He’s done it before,  

It’s becoming a bore,  

But this time he’s not coming back. 

Peter Stringfellow 

Liked his strippers. 

Now he’s dead 

Like a kipper. 

That’s terrible! I’m going to have to step up aren’t I? 

Peter Stringfellow 

Turned yellow 

And shat strawberries  

And was mellow 

Verne Troyer  

The mini me dwarf 

Drank loads of booze 

And it carried him orf* 

*or something else did 

Wake me up when it’s all over  

Is what Avicii said  

But we can’t 

Because he’s dead 

Avicii 

Arrivederci. 

Dale Winton  

Was a Supermarket Sweeper 

Now he’s gone off with  

The grim reaper. 

Barbara Bush  

Had a lavish bush 

Now she’s gone 

Her bush is mush 

Eric Bristow 

Made gravy from bisto 

But now he has died  

The carvery’s dried. 

Ray Wilkins  

Played with a ball 

Now he plays  

With nothing at all. 

Winnie Mandela 

Had Nelson as a fella 

She fought apartheid  

But has died. 

Cremation or burial 

Whaddya think the selection is? 

Traditional old school 

Or matches and necklaces? 

Another death, 

We’ll have to blog it. 

Oh no! This time it’s 

Selwyn Froggitt! 

Sudan’s death 

Is sad and preposterous, 

The last male northern 

White Rhinoceros. 

What a bunch of tossers, us. 

To end the white rhinoceros 

You know, 

And I know 

That we must conserve 

The Rhino. 

Alas the white rhinoceros  

Has gone the way of Toys R Us 

No man 

Of woman born 

Should slaughter those  

That have the horn. 

A white rhino, not a right wino 

You’ll buy no more stuff  

From Toys R Us 

Because they’ve just 

Gone bust. 

Liam O’Flynn 

Played uilleann pipes. 

Another one done in.  

Cripes! 

Jim Bowen 

Will be going  

To heaven  

In a speedboat 

Professor Stephen Hawking 

Wasn’t good at walking 

But he caused a great sensation 

With his own kind of radiation. 

Hubert de Givenchy 

Made stuff that was raunchy 

But now he’s followed the fashion 

Of celebrities to pass on. 

Did Dodd Die? 

Diddy? 

Dodd’s dead. 

Ken Dodd 

Is with God 

The man of Diddy 

Was a right old biddy 

Roger Bannister  

Ran a mile in four minutes.  

They’ll prepare his coffin  

And put him in it. 

Say farewell 

To Billy Graham 

Now he has begun 

Decaying. 

After a thousand years 

The Buttington Oak 

Of Offa’s Dyke 

Did finally croak. 

Ingvar Kamprad 

Made Algots and Veberöds 

And Muligs and Vittsjös 

But now he’s död. 

Mark E Smith  

Sang in The Fall  

Now he’s not in any band 

At all 

(Because he’s dead) 

Tinky Winky 

Said Eh-oh. 

Now it’s time  

for him to go. 

If you owe 

One point five billion  

You could end up 

Like Carillion. 

Delores O’Riordan 

Was a Cranberry.  

Now it’s time  

Her to bury. 

She was a fine 

Irish singer,  

But she didn’t  

Choose to linger. 

Delores 

No more is. 

She may not be gone, she 

Might return as a zombie. 

Mike, do you have to? 

Do you have to? 

She’s a zombie, zombie 

Zom be- a be- be a 

I saw Fast Eddie  

On the Iron Fist tour 

But now I won’t  

Any more. 

I also saw him 

When he was in Fastway. 

But I won’t anymore 

’Cos he’s passed away. 

Fast Eddie  

He’s Deady.