Lemmy growled loud and hammered that bass 

But all he ever needed was the Ace of Spades. 

Bowie wondered if there was life on Mars 

Finished off leaving us one black star. 

Ali floated like a butterfly - stung like a bee 

Wogan bantered on about children in need. 

 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

They were all big stars, and they died. 

 

Harper Lee taught us how to kill a mocking bird 

While Carla Lane was more into Liver birds. 

Manuel knew nothing, and a beating he got. 

Paul Daniels was liked but not a lot 

Rick Parfitt played for us rock and blues 

Shimon Peres was in charge of jews. 

 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

They were all big stars, and they died. 

 

Henry Heimlich saved people from choking 

Caroline Aherne - brilliant at joking 

John Glenn was a pioneer of space 

Nancy Reagan tried to keep her husband in place. 

I never cared for George Michael - not one bit. 

All his songs were a pile of shit. 

 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

Those are people who died, died 

They were all big stars, and they died. 

 

Princess Leia 

Isn’t here 

Oh dear 

Shed a tear. 

Carrie Fisher!  

We’ll surely miss her. 

Princess Leia 

Listens to Slayer 

In heaven on 

A CD player 

Last Christmas 

George Michael was alive 

But Twenty Sixteen 

He could not survive. 

Rick Parfitt 

Has gone to the Lord 

Never having learned 

That fourth chord. 

Ian McCaskill 

Predicted the rain. 

Now he never will 

Again. 

McCaskill is dead 

The rascal 

John Glenn 

Was a pioneer of space. 

But now he’s gone to 

Another place. 

Keith Emerson went in March this year 

Now Greg Lake is gone, I fear. 

I don’t want to be a big alarmer 

But it don’t look good for poor Carl Palmer. 

Fidel Castro 

Ruled Cuba in his own manner. 

Now he has smoked 

His last Havana. 

Fidel Castro  

Went to Tesco  

Now he won’t-oh  

Because he’s deado 

Fidel Castro and his cigars, 

Those groovy 1950s cars, 

A hero to some, but not to most, 

We say fairwell, as now he’s toast. 

Good on Fidel Castro 

America’s principle foe 

Will not get to see tomorra 

As he’s gone the way of Guevara 

He beats him here 

He beats him there. 

That Basil beats him everywhere. 

Is he in heaven? 

Is he in hell? 

That damn fine waiter -  

Manuel. 

Twenty sixteen 

The stars are all going.  

Today it has been 

Leonard Cohen. 

The King and I 

Have said goodbye 

But no one in Siam 

Is as indifferent as I am. 

Shimon 

Is gone, 

Yes he is really, 

This dead Israeli. 

Caroline Aherne 

Was a good turn, 

But now Mrs Merton’s 

Gone for a Burton. 

Anton Yelchin 

From Star Trek 

Joins the 27 Club, 

What the heck? 

How come? 

He’s dead? 

He wore yellow 

Not red! 

Anton what?  

Who was he?  

Oh. Star Trek.  

I see. 

Personally, I’m mystified by the continued absence of inertial dampener jokes. 

That’s shit, it doesn’t even rhyme. 

I’m personally mystified 

by how this could happen-a: 

Still no jokes 

about the inertial dampener. 

Much better. 

Muhammad Ali 

He was the greatest 

But now he’s become 

One of the latest. 

Muhammad Ali 

Used to box  

Now he is  

In a box 

He thought the rain was purple, 

Took his medication per pill, 

But never was the smartest, 

This artist formerly an artist. 

 

(That’s one in the eye for those who think there isn’t a rhyme for purple.) 

England’s only golden eagle 

Noble, rare, and truly regal 

Has perished - most disagreeable. 

Now all we’ve got’s a bunch of seagulls. 

Phil Sayer 

Is in the grave, 

But how many lives 

Did his wise words save? 

Not that many  

Silly chap 

Most people know  

To mind the gap 

Well, they do now, 

But that’s ’cos of him. 

If he hadn’t said it 

Things could be grim. 

Don’t be daft 

We all have brains  

We don’t need Phil Sayer 

To save us from trains. 

This is London 

Where they’re thick as shit 

Some fall on the tracks 

Where they’re hit. 

In the north 

Trains don’t hit us  

I guess it’s survival 

Of the fittest 

He tells me I  

should mind the gap 

But in fact it’s all  

a pile of crap 

Don’t you start too. 

Do not disparage 

The man that cared 

When we left the carriage. 

Many a slip 

Twixt cup and lip 

More again 

Twixt foot and train 

Well done, that man 

On your pronouncement. 

Let’s hear it for public 

service announcements. 

Listen to crashing bores 

Who scarcely anyone adores 

They cry out for their daily chores 

"Stand clear of the closing doors!" 

Gaps these days are rather small 

So as long as you are fat and tall 

You probably won’t fall through  

But if you’re small and thin you might do 

It’s bleak 

For Blake. 

This bloke 

Has broke. 

Blake of old Blake’s Seven 

Is now in spacey heaven. 

But Servalan was hotter, 

Like some sexy slinky otter. 

 

Er. 

Blake’s Seven  

Was shit 

Just say no 

I thought they were all dead  

Ages ago 

These deaths have got crazier 

’Cos out in Malaysia 

They’re all going to miss 

This star who went ’hiss’. 

He wasn’t pretty 

He hasn’t bonny 

But now there are 

Zero Ronnies. 

Paul Daniels 

Has gone to his plot. 

We all will miss him, 

But not a lot. 

Daniels died by bad brain you see.  

What will become of Debbie McGee? 

Paul Daniels  

Had a spaniel 

But he fell off his log  

Poor lonely dog 

 

God that’s terrible. 

Lady Penelope 

Drove in a pink Rolls. 

She now goes in another 

One of those holes. 

Drink! 

Girls! 

Arse! 

Feck! 

 

Some dead celebs simply have the good grace to write their own poems. 

He played Doctor Lazarus 

On Protector in Galaxy Quest. 

But Alan Rickman won’t come back, 

Now he’s laid to rest. 

In his time he did earn 

A great deal of Fame 

But I never did learn 

How to pronounce his name. 

In the 70s, Bowie 

Smoked fags and drank Moët 

Drinking & smoking are never the answer  

Because they give you cancer 

Oh, what nonsense 

Drinking, smoking and taking chemy 

Harmed nobody, 

Just ask L..., oh.