Sue Grafton 

Will never do Z 

That’s because 

She’s dead. 

RIP Misha the aardvark 

Who died in a fire in a big park  

Actually it was a zoo 

But zoo doesn’t rhyme so park will do 

I once saw Heinz Wolff 

Do a lecture on space, 

But now he has run 

His last Great Egg Race. 

Ch ch-ch chh chh  

Cheggers played pop.  

But today  

It’s time for him to drop. 

Max Clifford  

Liked publicity  

But then he didn’t  

And has died in iniquity. 

Max Clifford  

Was rapey and gropey 

And now he’s deceased 

After feeling quite ropey 

Drink some booze  

To Rodney Bewes 

Our loss is sad 

For this Likely Lad. 

Charles Manson  

Family cult head 

Ceased to exist  

’Cos now he’s dead. 

Malcolm Young 

Played rhythm guitar  

But he’ll not strum  

Another bar. 

The guitarist out of  

AC/DC 

Isn’t live-y 

He’s more deceased-y 

Tom Petty 

Was fond of spaghetti  

But he’s curled up his feet y’all 

So he’s had his last meatball 

(Apologies) 

Oh no!  

Bad news to which I’m awoken. 

I truly am 

Heartbroken. 

Tony Booth 

Scouse Git 

Now goes 

In the pit. 

If you don’t give a fuckoth 

About Vera Duckworth 

You’ll be uninterested to learn  

That she’s now in an urn 

Walter Becker  

Reeled in the years 

But now he is  

No longer here. 

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor 

Is a goner. 

Great balls of fire!  

Jerry Lewis is dead  

Oh no wait, it’s not him 

It’s some other bloke instead. 

Bruce Forsyth 

Oh this is ridiculous  

Nothing rhymes with that  

He’s dead. 

He rode out on a horse 

In a star-spangled rodeo, 

But now it is time 

For Glen Campbell to go. 

His last album was called Adios 

It’s almost like he knew! 

No more rhinestone cowboy 

Or meatballs for your stew 

Campbell is a make of soup  

And also was Glen’s name  

But though he’s died of Alzheimer’s 

The soup remains the same. 

The Wichita Lineman,  

no longer on the line 

Barry Norman  

Was not a Mormon 

He reviewed films instead 

But no more, cos he’s dead. 

Brian Cant 

Could  

Now he can’t. 

Brian Wood 

Brian May 

But Brian Cant. 

Adam West  

Is at rest  

He failed to stay alive  

But he probably did his best. 

Der-der der-der der-der der-der 

Der-der der-der der-der der-der 

Dead man. 

He went with his dog for some cheese on the moon 

He wore the wrong trousers but caught the crook soon 

And then with a sheep he had a close shave 

But now Peter Sallis will rest in his grave. 

Roy Barraclough 

Who played Alec Gilroy 

Is dead 

What a kill joy. 

John Noakes 

Is dead, folks.  

And Shep?  

Yep. 

Gregg Allman 

Was all man 

But the guy who played the theme to Top Gear  

Is no longer here. 

Moore  

Is no more.  

The Saint  

Now ain’t. 

Chris Cornell  

Led Audioslave.  

Time to put him  

In the grave. 

He also was in 

Sound Garden 

But now his corpse will 

Soon harden 

Chris Cornell,  

He felt outshined 

And now he’s left,  

This world behind. 

Martin McGuinness 

Led Sinn Fein 

Now he won’t 

Again. 

David Rockefeller 

Made a lot of wonga 

But now he isn’t with us 

Any longer. 

He wanted you to play 

With his ding-a-ling 

But now Chuck Berry 

Has become nothing. 

Azure Window 

It did falter. 

Now it’s gone, 

A loss for Malta. 

Sir Peter Mansfield 

Won a Nobel prize, 

But in the end 

Everyone dies. 

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson 

Was a Socialite by career. 

I don’t know what that is, 

Maybe a bit like Jeremy Corbyn but without the beard. 

Hans Rosling’s death 

Drove me ballistic. 

Now he’s just 

Another statistic. 

Desmond Carrington 

Made the music go round. 

Time to put him 

In the ground. 

Say farewell 

To Geoff Nicholls 

Who must be preserved 

In pickles. 

Gordon Kaye,  

oh sacre bleu! 

Pas ’Allo ’Allo,  

c’est adieu adieu.. 

Say farewell 

To Peter Sarstedt 

Who died, not last year, 

But this year instead. 

The year of death has stricken dread 

In every famous man and woman. 

Now, Twenty Sixteen itself is dead. 

Wonder who saw that one coming.